The weight of the wait

So, the title says it all. The waiting game begins anew. I am waiting for my OPKs and probe covers to arrive. The words "probe cover" sound so... sordid. It brings to mind things either anal or alien, and neither one sound like something I'd willingly buy and bring into my home. But, the probe covers are coming, nonetheless.

I'm in pretty good spirits, I've put my Wii gym to work twice this week after months of stasis. Wii Fit Yoga is doing my lower back quite a bit of good, maybe I won't need to see a chiropractor after all. In addition, Wii DDR is actually quite fun. It makes me feel like I'm dancing, but with helpful arrows to keep me from tripping over my own feet.

I have ONE beef with my virtual gym. If I could change just one thing it would be adding some sort of continuous mode. :( Neither the Wii Fit, nor Wii DDR has a continuous mode where you can go from activity to activity (poses in the case of yoga, or songs in the case of DDR) without the system stopping and giving you a grade. It gets annoying. Maybe someday when I feel confident enough with the Yoga poses I'll just do them on my own and flow from one to the next. No such solution for DDR...

Oh well, I paid enough for my Wii gym, I think I'll just get over it. :)

CD1

AF is here with a vengeance (meaning, with cramps). Because my cycle has been less than regular the last 2 months, I'm going to start temping again. I'll probably buy more OPKs too.

Before I start temping, I need to buy some of those sleeves for my BBT. Washing it daily is a pain, not washing it daily is icky... Only, I can't remember what they are called or where I saw them last. I know they don't have them at the same online locale where I buy the OPKs. Though, I don't understand why they wouldn't sell them!

I think I'll also see a chiropractor for my lower back issues. I read an article somewhere that mentioned back issues and TTC. The chiropractor at the benefits fair gave me a brief prodding and said I really need help (big surprise). I liked her "backside" manner, so I think I'll schedule an appointment. I also asked around at the benefits fair about ART. None of the plans available to me would cover ART, so I really hope it isn't needed.

I'm bummed. Not tearfully bummed yet, but acting like a whiny 12yr old. DH encourages patience. I'm anxious for the chocolate chip walnut coconut cookies to be cool enough to eat.

Not promising

I tested after work yesterday, BFN. TMI: I had started spotting yesterday, but it was extremely light. Now, it is more than spotting, still brown though. I may test again tomorrow morning if I don't have an obvious CD1 on my hands. Part of me would like to watch football tomorrow in an inebriated fashion.

So, this past cycle was my cycle of not paying attention. Part of me wants to go full bore next cycle (temp, chart, opk, drinking teas, seeing chiropractor, doing yoga, food/drink nazi, mucinex). DH thinks I should continue the laissez-faire method: "What? We're TTC? I thought we were just having an active sex life..."

I have been so hopeful, positive energy seems to have been with me lately on many fronts. I guess I'm not out yet, but I can't help but think of next round.

Can Has Letters!

I have been putting it off in the back of my mind... the results of my RE.5NA exam. They said it could be 6 weeks, and I almost hoped it would be even longer. But, it wasn't. The envelope in my box this morning was white and large. I couldn't remember if large was good or bad. So, I took it quietly toward my office to read it in peace, only I didn't get quite that far. The hall was empty of onlookers. Seemingly of their own volition, my anxious fingers broke the seal.

I slid some papers from the envelope. A few words flashed in front of my eyes, "pleased to inform..." Wait, they wouldn't be pleased if I'd failed right? My gaze skipped further down the page, "Congratulations!"

As the reality settled in, a huge weight lifted from my shoulders. I'd been shoving my fear of the results to the back of my mind for weeks, only to have my mind wander and wish I could take back some of the answers I'd given. But, that's all over now!

Bring on persons with various impairments (especially those seeking computer access and educational assistance), I am now an ATP (Assi.stive Techn.o1ogy Professona1)!

There is an odd thing on my certificate. It says I'm an ATP effective until October 13, 20099. Does that mean I don't have to re-up my certification next year? :p

Synchronicity

I chose to read the old book that has been on my shelf for years (haven't started Wicked yet). I used to belong to the Sci-Fi & Fantasy Book Club. It started when I was about 16, and books were one of my indulgences with money from my first job. I loved the fantasy novels. I was also a sucker for the grab bags they sent over the years to entice me to come back to membership.

One of these grab bags contained Wizard's First Rule by Terry Goodkind. I'm actually enjoying it. Its just under 600 pages with a small typeface, a good solid read. I'm nearly halfway through.

But, something interesting happened after I had read but a chapter of the book that sat on my shelf for a half dozen years. I was flipping TV stations when I noticed a televised fantasy movie, and heard some familiar words. Sure enough, it was a broadcast of the book I had just started reading. I watched a little, just enough to be certain, just enough to take note of some of the differences between the plot of the book and the screenplay. I didn't spoil anything.

But, it just kinda struck me. If I had seen that movie on TV but a week ago it would have no meaning for me. Yet, since I had begun reading the book it did.

I love catching moments of synchronicity in my life. They make me appreciate the wonder and mysticism of the universe. Like, being introduced to a new word or concept and seeing it come up later the same day (sometimes more than once). These things are in no way related causally. Perhaps that initial exposure just makes us more attuned to seeing them later. But, it tickles the spirit in some way that I can't help but appreciate.

CD27, average cycle length has been 27-29. Last cycle was 21 days due to vacation issues. No sign of AF yet, and I did not get post-O nipple agony. I haven't been charting or using OPKs, so who knows if O occurred. I'm just chilling out about it for now. If needed I'll test Friday. I suppose my mood could be considered cautiously hopeful.

1WW

And what a slow wait it is. It feels like its been a month already but alas it has only been a week. We're going with "the more the merrier" strategy on BD. We'll see how far it gets us.

I really wanted a new car by now. I've been looking at a Honda Fit for ages (small practical hatchback). But, we are waiting to see if car funds need to be rerouted to help with baby making. :/ On the bright side, at this rate Honda will have its new Insight hybrid out by the time we're ready to buy. Its supposed to be under $20K. When we bought our Aspire, we said our next car would be an alternative fuel vehicle. Unfortunately green options have not become as available or economical as we'd hoped.

In the mean time, I put my foot down on the subject of snow tires. If I'm going to have to drive our old beloved again this winter I want to be safe.

I just found out today that a coworker of mine is reading Twilight and needs the second book! :D I will lend it to her then we will have something to chat about besides our political differences. :p

I guess that means I should pick up the 3rd book while I still have some B&N gift card $$.

Happy Weekend to all!