9w3d FRIDAY!

It was a long busy week at work. I'm happy to be home.

Though I have a few things on my list this weekend too.  I've decided to sign up for the next 6 weeks of my yoga/pilates.  It really helps relax me after a stressful day at work, and I know I won't exactly have the discipline for just doing videos on my own. 

The u/s feels so far away... To some extent, I feel like it none of this will be real to me until I have something tangible to look at.  For all I know, there could be an alien, leprechaun, or tumor in there!  I must see baby!  Then I can relax a bit and tell the whole world.  Alas, 12 days 22 hours and 18ish minutes.  I have a ticker for it on my iGoogle page.  It is titled, "Planting Seeds".  :p   I can probably order my announcement shirt now. Even that will take a smidge of faith and courage for some odd reason.

Gender thoughts: I will love and cherish whatever gender of human the universe sees fit to bless us with, without disappointment. That said, a girl would be lovely for a few reasons. DH says he would feel more comfortable raising a girl (though I'm not sure he says that from a place of objective reasoning).  The spare bedroom is already pink, with textured walls that I'd not be eager to repaint.  Last but not least, I'd love to cultivate a mother daughter relationship.  There is nothing necessarily wrong with my relationship with my mother, but there have always been layers of guardedness, times I've tried to confide that weren't exactly received in the most receptive fashion. 

I know I'll be a less than ideal parent on several levels. I'm sure nothing will be perfect.  Just imperfect in a different way, perhaps. :)

Now, to grab a snack and pour over the latest issue of Organic Gardening.

Week Nine

All's well!  I have been totally ravenous, I've also had a bit of constipation. Neither of which has been unmanageable.

My diet has improved.  I've stocked up on spinach, berries, veggies, rice cakes, and some of the easier-to-prepare meals that are healthy. It also helped that DH made the kitchen a glorious shiny place to cook in.  The biggest factor may be the naps I've been allowing myself every day after work. The post-lunch slump is murder, but after my nap I feel much more alive.

Last night I had a dream that word slipped out that I was expecting. I couldn't even remember the details or who found out or how or what I felt about it.  But, I do kinda fear someone pointing a finger at me every time I turn around. :p  

I have suspicions that a coworker might have found my blog. He's been taking a sudden interest in my work.  He happens to be the person most likely to cover for me during leave...  he's rather discreet so it wouldn't be a big deal. But, its probably all in my head anyway. :)  

Two weeks two days until ultrasound! I have been thinking about it a dozen times a day, easily. I'd pass more time with Civ, except my computer keeps overheating and crashing.  It used to just crash when I kept the case on...  I need to point a fan at it, but our frightening mess of power strips has no opening.

I have yoga tonight and Thursday, then my class is over.  So, I bought a prenatal yoga DVD on Amazon.  I also picked up 4 prenatal books from the library. The lady behind the counter gave me some wierd looks... maybe because I look young for my age. Maybe because she thinks I won't be able to finish them before they are due. *shrugs*

Nothing Tragic

I tried to call this morning at 10 minutes after the office opened, but they still had their morning answering message up.  The spotting had become lighter and browner, and I became less worried as a result.

I didn't get a chance to call back until after work.  I was waylaid by various tasks (like the state wanting a sudden necessary revision to one of our vital forms, sigh) and had no sure opportunity for a private phone call.

I called in from my car after work, and received a call back from a nurse just a few minutes ago.  As expected, no need to rush me in. I'm one of 30% who have spotting, and the nurse recommended pelvic rest.  That's fine by me, I could probably use a break. :p  The spotting is barely noticable now, for that I am quite thankful.

So, to change the subject, its time for me to navel-gaze about my diet...  I eat fairly well for breakfast and lunch.  Breakfast is typically either oatmeal w/milk, or yogurt with berries and granola.  My snack is typically fruit, sometimes w/peanut butter.  Lunch is usually soup (lentil, bean, chicken, etc) or salad (shrimp or tuna), sometimes with some cheese.  I have cheese or nuts for a snack when I come home. But, dinner really does me in.  I come home exhausted, and cooking nourishing fare feels like too much work. Hence, tonight we're feasting on corndogs.   Prior nights have involved fast food. 

Part of me pats myself on the back for eschewing caffeine, alcohol, etc. and eating a varied diet.  The other part of me beleagures my sugar, salt, and fat intake.  There's a long list of foods to avoid that I was given by the nurse.  I think I've eaten almost all of them!  However, corn dogs were not on the list. :p

Not how I wanted to wake up...

Pink spotting on TP and on panty liner placed afterwards. Crap. 

No cramps though, and maybe we were a little exuberant last night... so I'm trying not to gloom it up. I'm going to work, I'll call the Dr. office when they open.  I would be surprised if they want to see me, but who knows.

Argh.

First Appointment

I went in to see the nurse today with my FMU sample.  I started by filling out a bunch of paperwork, the nurse called me back when I was 3/4 of the way through. She confirmed the pregnancy and gave me a long list of all of the Do's and Dont's.  They gave me a bag with the office logo on it to put all of the pamphlets and fliers in.  Most of it is stuff I've already learned through my Mayo Clinic's Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy and the internet.  

There were some items of value. I was happy to get a calendar with fetal stages on it, and some cute stickers I can add to it for 1st ultrasound, feeling 1st movement, etc.  I was also happy to get some pamphlets about deciding which prenatal tests to have done, and various options for labor and delivery (monitoring, pain relief, etc).  I'll have to post more about the hospital's Family Materinity Center later.  It sounds really spiffy.

She gave me a schedule of when they will see me, I'll have 2 ultrasounds overall. The first is with a little machine in their office, the next will be at the big imaging lab. I scheduled my first ultrasound for March 12th after work.  Its farther away than I would like, but I must take a moment to be very thankful I'm such a low-risk subject.  

I left the office with paperwork for my bloodwork (RH, german measles, antibody, blood counts).  The bloodwork office was across the street. I almost wanted DH to come in case I felt dizzy and didn't want to drive home. But, it felt silly with the office so close by.  So, I drove across the street and popped in.  

As I sait waiting for them to call my name, I looked over the B/W form. I was sorely tempted to whip out my pen and check the HcG boxes... but, I didn't. :p  The nice vampire lady called me back, and pulled together the 5 vials I'd need to fill.  The first one went fine, but my vein petered out (that stung a bit).  So, she looked at my other arm but the vein was so tiny she had to get a baby needle. That went much better, and didn't hurt much at all.  She gave me a little can of juice (I wasn't feeling that bad, but it was nice to have). Then, sent me into the bathroom for a urine sample.

Driving home via manual transmission was awkward with my elbows all taped up.  But, I made it. :)

The End... Er... The Beginning

Now, I have some reading material to go over, and about a month to kill.   Luckily CivFanatics just relased the next Beyond the Sword Game of the Month!  There is NO time-killer like Civ. :)

My Valentine

When DH and I were seriously dating, I said I wanted two kids, just like my parents had. A girl and a boy, if I could be so lucky. He made it clear that he did not want kids. He felt it was irresponsible, and the Earth is overburdened enough as it is. I suggested that if we only had one, we'd still be doing "our part" for population control, since we wouldn't be replacing both of us.  

Eventually, he came around to the idea that being with me meant being a father someday.  But, the motivation has always been primarily mine.  He was excited to start trying, as any DH would be. But most of the enthusiasm around the BFP has been mine.  His vibe has been mostly happy for me/us and very supportive, if not personally jubilant.  I know it must be a big scary deal for him... I'm the primary breadwinner and we've both talked about the fact that he's going to be a work at home dad.  He'll have the lion's share of the dirty work when I return to the office.  

So, fast forward to this week.  After I got home on Wednesday, DH left to run an errand.  The next day, I get in to work at 6am to be greeted by a beautiful fragrant boquet of lillies, roses, and many other flowers I cannot name, before a backdrop of bells of ireland. :)  He also made sure I had an email when I arrived saying the flowers were an early V-day gift, but he wanted me to be able to enjoy them and show them off.

I brought them home yesterday, and they are perfuming the whole house.  DH said he didn't want to give just roses, as roses were for courtship and romance.  This boquet has more meaning.  :) Later that day he was talking about telling some friends online that he has a lot to be happy about, because its Valentine's and his wife is preggers.  

Thus, my heart is full, and I have a DH to go smooch into wakefulness.

The silver-lined cloud

I had spoken to my boss and coworkers to let them know I would be leaving early to run errands.  I had my cargo out in the car (hoping it wouldn't freeze).  It was 10am, I was away from my desk helping someone learn Excel charts.  I took my time there, happy to see the minutes tick by until departure time.  I figured I'd leave by 11:15 because the midday traffic can get a little hairy.

When I made it back to my desk there was a voicemail from my Dr's office... Apparently the nurse I was supposed to see is sick and they want to reschdule me. *pouts*  So, I called back and rescheduled.  The receptionist was quite apologetic, and they got me an appointment the following Monday which just happens to be President's Day. :)

Already asked for time off + didn't bring anything for lunch + appointment rescheduled for a day off = time to go home!  So, I'm home.  While I'm anxious to get some professional cofirmation of my "condition", it is just going to be a conversation with a nurse.  Maybe next week I'll be far enough along that they can schedule the u/s.

As for now, I'm feeling tired so I may nap. But, later I plan on using my extra time to make lasagne. :)

My Kind of Friday

DH went to bed early (his sleep schedule is novel-worthy, but I'm too tired to explain).  I made myself dinner which included shrimp (DH avoids seafood of all stripes) and watched the remainder of the News Hour with Jim Leher.  Shields and Brooks night, woot!  <--- No sarcasm there

After my meal and my uber-dry news, I began the activity I'd been waiting for since yesterday.  I curled up with the last few chapters of Breaking Dawn.  Ahhh, this is Friday. Just me and my imagination as prompted by Stephenie Meyer.  Alas, it is over now.  No more of that to be had. I'm not sure how interested I am in the prequels...  I guess I'll go back on a nonfiction kick for a while.  I'm not holding my breath for George RR Martin.

Now, I'm wrapping up my evening by posting and drinking root beer, trying to settle my stomach a bit before bed.  The nausea is at its worst for me between 4pm and 10pm.  Every morning I wake up thinking, "Its gone, is something wrong?" every evening it reminds me that it isn't just a morning affliction, or a morning affliction at all for me so far.

I should be and am extremely grateful for that fact (among others). I'm not sure how I'd drag myself to work every day at I-should-still-be-sleeping-o'clock in the morning otherwise.

Almost ill

I'm thinking about skipping yoga/pilates tonight...  

I didn't get enough sleep last night due to every fault of my own.  Blame Breaking Dawn.  

Next, I don't know if it was eating too much at lunch, or if that piece of chocolate cake just pushed me over the top.  It didn't seem like that much when I was eating...  a small bowl full of cottage cheese and pears followed by beef/peapods/rice leftovers followed by chocolate cake from someone's birthday.  It was a corner slice with too much frosting, which I typically hate, but I ate it anyway.  

I slogged through my afternoon, came home, crashed, and slept for nearly 2 hours.  Now, if I want to make my class I should be eating right now so I have time to digest.  Yet, I don't feel like it at all. I'm not having clear and present nausea... its more like a vague motion-sick over-full feeling.  I'd really rather not push it.

DH keeps telling me the class was my idea and I have no obligations to anyone. So, maybe I'll try some gentle stretching at home and call it good.

None of this is really jumping out at me and saying "you're pregnant!" though that is the obvious cause.  It is still kinda hard to believe, like I expected it to be WHAM, and force me to hug some porcelain.  Instead, I've just got some nagging fatigue and unease of the stomach. Okay, I need to think about something else now.

Here's to 6 weeks!  DH votes for the title, "Growing Expectations" which is super nice and fitting, but the desire to be funny is making me seriously consider: "can haz baby?"