Merry Xmas!

I haven't opened anything yet, but I have received my Christmas wish, achieved my New Year's Resolution, and otherwise been thoroughly blessed.



Daddy hates headbands, dresses, and the green shawl, but oh well. :) Indra and I have enjoyed several parties and outings. Am I a bad mommy for using my daughter as a social lubricant? She has been very effective.

My favorite time of day is our snuggle-nap. There is nothing like a warm baby in the wintertime.

I'm not looking forward to full time work on January 4th.

Cutie Bug

I'm taking pictures nearly every day, trying to find the best one to put on a Mug as gifts for Grandma, Grandma, and Grandpa. I'm not sure if I'll pick this one, but I do rather love it:



In other news, Indra only woke up ONCE last night. That, combined with a blissful snuggle-nap has left me feeling rather awesome.

Two Month Appointment

I took Indra to her 2 month checkup today. She now weighs 10 pounds on the dot. There are no concerns, though they still want to X-ray her hips in a few months.

Poor baby endured one oral vaccine and three shots. Though my dread of the shots seemed worse than the actual event. She cried, it was a cry I haven't heard much before, and I knew it meant "OUCH"! But, she calmed right down as soon as I nursed her. She's been very sleepy ever since, but she usually naps around this time.

I have the tylenol on standby in case she spikes a fever, but I don't want to use it unless needed. I read the latest research regarding how it can potentially reduce the immune response, which is the point of the vaccinations. If Indra is happy and isn't running a concerning temp then I'm not worrying about it.

I'm going to try to get us to bed early tonight by doing dinner at 6, bath at 7, bed at 8. We'll see! For now, I need a snack. :)

Back to Werk

I'm only back part time, but it has still been a transition. The first day, Thursday, was rough. Indra was crabby all night, I barely slept, then she made daddy miserable and would hardly eat from the bottle. Yesterday was better. I slept a little better, and she ate a little better. This made it far easier to bring her to Grandma's and have our date night. She had her usual fussy hour at Grandma's, but she ate well for Grandma.

Werk is nuts, my workload is more than full time, my boss will be out on leave as of Monday (giving me more to do) and I need to take a midday break to pump. I forgot to take this break on Friday, and, OUCH. I won't be forgetting again. I'm not sure how I'm going to get anything done. Yet, come January, I don't know how I'm going to be able to part with Indra for 8 hours a day. :( Maybe I'll work a little later and come home for lunches.

Here are a few pictures, including my Halloween kitty cat. Then, I must get to the dishes while Indra is still asleep:

Indra's Favorite Hobby

Breasts Runneth Over

I seem to be having a bit of an oversupply issue. I know, some would kill for such a "problem". But, they don't write in this space and I do, so let me describe what this problem has lead to:

- An overabundance of green poo diapers
- Boobs that try to drown the poor infant they are designed to nourish
- An infant with a resulting love/hate relationship for said boobs, making for very fussy messy feedings
- An infant that might just be the inspiration for the cherub fountains that continually spout water, except Indra is not spouting water.
- A gassy fussy hungry baby during the evening hours and thus: not enough sleep

I've done my homework, all of the authorities suggest block feeding for a while (offering only one side until the other demands to be emptied). Hopefully it will settle the issue over time. Until then, the abject adoration of our little cherub continues, starting with Indra and Grandma:

Bad Blogger = Good Mommy, right?

I'm finding my time/desire to update this blog is waning. I may consider closing this chapter at some point. But for now I need to make a reflective mommy post.

Little Indra is nearly a month old, and I couldn't imagine life without her. Already she is growing and changing. Her cord has fallen off, and she's making much more eye contact. We play a game called, "Mommy's over here!" wherein she sits on my lap and I lean left/right/center and she turns her head to look for me.

She has one primary nickname: bug. She is a beautiful little bug with big bright eyes and chubby cheeks. DH and I also sometimes call her a little pterodactyl due to the high-pitched reptilian squeals she emits.

She does scream and cry, mostly during diaper changes (she would much rather wear a dirty diaper than suffer the tragedy of having it changed) and her crabby hour(s) which are usually somewhere between 8pm and 2am. Thankfully DH guides her through the rough patch while I sleep. He's the night owl in the family.

Is being a mom what I expected? Yes and no. Some things are much easier than I expected. I imagined that breastfeeding would be quite a struggle. But, it has gone quite smoothly, so smoothly I am able to pump a bit and have DH take the first night feeding. She has no trouble with the bottle either.

Cesarean recovery has been another challenge that I overestimated. I'm walking, cooking, and driving without trouble. I only take OTC pain meds when I've really been out and about. I'm itching to get my all clear in a couple of weeks, not just for quality time with DH... the yard and garden need to be put to rest for the winter.

DH = superdad. I knew, in the abstract, that he would be. But, it truly warm-fuzzies me to see him love on our girl, bounce her and quiet her when I feel worn out, and latch her onto me with expert aim when she's hungry. She's lucky to have such a great dad.

Other things are tougher... namely the lack of sleep. Everyone knows that newborns inhibit parental sleep quality and quantity. But, no amount of awareness can truly prepare you for being dead tired-to-tears, holding a squaling infant. Thankfully I've only hit that point a couple of times, and things seem to be improving. Though our little bug still likes to eat every 2-3 hours around the clock.

Getting out of the house is tough. It seems impossible to fit such preparations into the feed/burp/diaper cycle. She's very hungry lately, but her weight gain exceeds expectations so it's all good. We are blessed:

Birth Story

The stats:
Baby girl, Indra Alexandra
Born via cesarean (breech) on 9/16/09 at 7:17am
6lbs 2oz 19 ¼ inches long
Apgars 9/9

I expected a routine doctor’s appointment on the 14th, just my GBS results and my cervical check. However, when my OB felt the baby’s bum instead of her head everything changed. While I knew she was breech (head under my ribs for months) and I knew I’d probably need a C-section, I didn’t know my doctor would want to do it on Friday!

I still had a ton of work to do before going on leave. So, I put in nearly 12 hours on Tuesday trying to wrap things up. I intended to do the same on Wednesday… but our little one had other plans!

I woke up Wednesday morning at around 4am to use the bathroom. As I was sitting there, I heard a faint pop, and heard a trickle. I thought to myself, I have way too much to do for my water to have broken! I wiped and there was mucous, a little pink, but I’d been losing mucous a lot lately.

I jumped in the shower, because either way I thought a shower would be a good idea. This is when I felt the first menstrual-like cramps. I got out of the shower and put a pad on. DH came downstairs to check on me. I told him I think maybe my water broke. He was tired (had actually just gone to bed) and I didn’t sound very convincing so he went back to bed. I called the hospital, and was told to come in if I soak the pad or if my contractions get harder.

Sure enough, I felt the need for a more absorbent pad, and my contractions proceeded from dull nagging to painful. I went upstairs and asked DH to wake up and help me finish packing. I thought we had a few more days, so only a few things were in my bag. But, at least I had my list.

At about 5:10am I timed my contractions at 4 minutes apart. I could still walk and talk through them, but they definitely gave me pause. We finished packing way too much stuff and headed out, luckily the hospital was only 10 minutes away. I now know why contractions and cars don’t mix! I think we arrived in emergency shortly before 6:00am. Next came a long brutal walk to L&D, if I knew how long I would’ve taken up their offer for a wheelchair, but I made it!

Finally in my room, I changed into the gown and laid down for a game of 5 million questions, with the questions repeating whenever a new doctor or nurse came into the room. Yes, I had pre-registered. Laying down was awful. They hooked me up to the monitor and asked me how long I’d been contracting like that! But they did tell me I was doing very well with them, and that contractions that strong were usually rated at a 9 on the pain scale. My mom arrived (DH had called her) and I whined that I thought I was going to get to skip the labor part! No such luck.

I squeezed DH’s hand and breathed through the contractions. At some point they gave me a shot of terbutaline to slow my labor down. It did space out the contractions. My OB was called, and decided to come in early for his shift. He did a last minute ultrasound to confirm breech. They prepped me and I rode in a wheelchair to the OR where I sat on the table to receive the spinal. It wasn’t bad at all, the hard part was getting the right curve in my back during contractions. DH said my expression changed instantly when the spinal took hold. My legs felt blissfully warm (not numb yet, just warm) and they told me to go limp so they could lay me down properly. I was actually pretty happy, and excited.

The drape went up and they let me get nice and numb, couldn’t feel a pinch, but I still felt like I could breathe just fine. Mostly I was glad to be through with the contractions. I felt various tugs and pulls when they were operating, but it was more interesting to me than frightening. No pain at all.

It didn’t seem like long at all before I felt some big tugs and heard a cry! I immediately started crying in response. It was 7:17am on my little brother’s birthday. I heard various voices saying how cute she was while they moved the little body to the plastic bassinet in the corner where they could clean her up a little and check her out. She wailed and wailed and I wanted to comfort her so badly! They finally placed her on my chest where I could stroke her cheek and talk to her. Her eyes were open and she was already calming down. She has tons of dark hair and grandma’s nose.

DH carried her to the nursery while they finished stitching me up. I was alert and actually interested as the nurse anesthetist was describing the spinal to a student (I said the students could watch). It didn’t seem to take long before the drape was dropped. It was so weird to see them moving legs that looked like mine but certainly didn’t feel like mine! They transferred me back into my bed and wheeled me back to the room where I stayed for the rest of the hospital experience.

DH came to see me not long after, while my parents were with our baby in the nursery. He showed me pictures from the nursery on the back of the camera. I think she was brought to me at shortly after 9am. I tried nursing her for the first time within the hour, and it went very well.

I was itchy from the drugs, but I said I didn’t want anything for it. I really wanted to stay alert, and I was so happy to spend the next several hours (days) snuggled with our baby. I had some problems with nausea at first, strangely it would always hit me during breastfeeding. Indra was only away from our room once, to get an ultrasound on her hips (a breech thing that will probably resolve itself without intervention). We left the hospital on Friday, I’m recovering nicely, and our little 1 week old baby is doing just fine. At her Dr Appt Tuesday she had already gained an ounce over her birthweight.

Here should be a link to some pics on Photobucket:
http://s194.photobucket.com/albums/z201/faedrake/Indra/

Precious

I promise to post more pictures soon. Alas, the laptop is on my lap, the camera is across the room, and the little one is getting hungry. :)

However, I did want to record these words while they were in my head and heart. She is so precious. She has never been unkind to anyone, never made a mistake, never experienced regret. She is pure and precious and I know now in ways I never quite understood before... why babies are so beloved. Yes, their little features are adoreable and heart-melting, but what they represent is, to me, the greater treasure.

Even as I look forward to her growing awareness and all of the joys and pitfalls it brings... I wanted to make note, and take stock, and love who she is right now.

Indra is here!

The last time I posted, I had a C-Section scheduled for Friday (yesterday). But, our little girl had other plans! She is a whole 3 days old today, her name is Indra Alexandra.

I will post the cliff's notes version of the update until I have a chance to fit in the whole enchilada.

Monday September 14th – Indra is breech! A c-section is scheduled for Friday

Tuesday September 15th – I work a long day to prepare for leave.

Wednesday September 16th
4am – water breaks! Though not with a gush, so I’m in denial
4:30am – contractions start! No more denial. I wake Ryan to help me
pack (he had just gone to bed).
5:10am – contractions are ~4 minutes apart
5:30am – checked into the hospital
6-7ish - received spinal, surgery begins
7:17am - Indra is born with eyes open and crying!
6 lbs 2 oz, 19 ¼ inches, Apgars 9 and 9

Friday September 19th
1:00pm - Finally came home. :)

You can't tell from the pictures, but our precious little girl is tiny in the most adorable possible way. I'll have to find some other pictures that include more stuff for scale. :)





Last but not least, I'm recovering well and we are SO HAPPY to be home. Dad is beyond awesome, I didn't even change a single diaper until yesterday.

Ready or not!!!

I went in today, expecting more of the same. Maybe the results of my GBS test, maybe a little more dilation or effacement (though hopefully not too much more) and that's it. Thanks, see you in a week!

That's not what happened.

My 38 week appointment began as usual, with the happy friendly heartbeat of my baby. But, the pelvic exam brought ominous sounds from my doctor's lips, and a quick call for the ultrasound machine. While the nurse wheeled in C3P0, he said (in more medicalized verbage) that he was feeling butt crack instead of skull plates. The gooey wand confirmed the head I've felt under my right rib for ages.

Yep, she really is breech. He sounded very disappointed, swearing in a near Flandersesque fashion. Me? Not so much. Again, my preferences are for an uncomplicated natural vaginal birth or planned C-Section. Not that I expect anyone to understand my dueling extreme preferences.

What really threw me for a loop is what came next. I dressed and met my doctor in his office for a talk about the options. I already knew I wouldn't be a good candidate for an external version. I already knew vaginal breech births weren't an option at that hospital. What I didn't know is: "Do not pass go, do not go into labor, report for a c-section Thursday or Friday, we'll call to let you know which." Apparently the little girl is wedged in there tight, and he doesn't want her wedged much tighter before having to pull her back up and out.

Thus, I'm going to be a mom in 3-4 days and its blowing my mind. Also, by the way, that timeline that I got my boss to push back was reinstated by my boss's boss. So, that's my top priority. Yuck.

I'm going in to work tomorrow at 5am-ish and probably staying until that late tomorrow night, and maybe the day after as well. Hell, I might as well live at work for the next two days. At least that way I know I will have done as much as I can.

Week 37 Loud and Clear

I was a little freaked out earlier this week, not just by my progress. I've been seeing unmistakable evidence of plug loss over the past couple of days. While I know it could still be weeks, it is another way my body is telling me to get ready! I'm definitely listening now.

So, I managed to wiggle out of some timelines at work yesterday (boss is having medical issues too, so it really makes sense to put some things off to January for both of us). This is a big relief, now I can focus on properly delegating stuff with what time remains for me at work.

DH's timelines changed too, so now he's free to paint the nursery. Finally, we can BOTH focus on the nest, yay! We'll pick up our bassinet and breastpump and a couple of odds and ends today and make some final decisions about a play yard that my mom wants to get us. Then we'll focus inward.

I have the newborn and 0-3 baby clothes washed. They consist of 10 onesies, 6 sleepers with footies, and a couple of sleep gowns. But, I forgot to wash the socks, I'll have to see how many of those we have. If I don't feel we have enough maybe I'll find an easy pattern and knit a pair. Thanks to the generosity of friends and family we haven't had to buy a single clothing item yet. Though we may pick up a gender neutral outfit today, just in case.

Last but not least, I need to finish sanding the furniture so it can be painted. Its supposed to rain tomorrow but I think I can finish the rocking chair today. Hopefully the dresser can wait until Monday or next weekend...

In short...

36 week appointment, baby seems head down to the Dr, I'm 2cm and 80% effaced. Even as tired as I am, moving my office over the first week of school, I have been terrified into action. It could be days or weeks, and I'm hoping for the later.

Time to do more dishes and wash some baby clothes.

Belly Pic, Countdown

I made this picture on my home computer instead of my work laptop so I didn't have the same font for the week label. Oh well! Everyone has told me that I've dropped, thankfully no one has mentioned that I'm ready to pop or how huge I look. And yes, I will post at least one of my maternity photo shoot images when we get them. :)



I'm 35 weeks now, just 5 more to go. That means I have 4 (maybe 5) more weekends until the baby comes. Considering all of the sanding, painting, and sewing I have to do (not to mention working)... I'm beginning to think the nursery won't be done. Oh well. There are worse things, and it isn't like the baby will care. :)

I still want to try to do as much as possible ahead of time though. Having a new baby around is going to leave me with less time and energy, not more! But, I'm awfully beat. After doing some sanding yesterday I crashed for a 2 hour nap. During week nights I haven't felt like doing *anything* outside of cobbling together some dinner.

I wonder if the fatigue is a function of the last month of pregnancy, pitiful amounts of less than restful sleep, or some combination of the two. I'm feeling hormonal too, just when DH is feeling distant and preoccupied by other things. *pout*

But, enough poor me, all is well and the baby shower this evening will surely bring joy and merriment. :)

34 Week Appt

My appointment went well today, it was pretty brief, and I didn't have to wait as long as I do sometimes...

The heartbeat is in the 150s, and doctor said I'm not growing a big baby but I'm not growing a small baby either. So, would that make this a Goldilocks baby? It sounds just right to me. :)

I think she's still head up, but I'm not sure. Admittedly, I feel all the hiccups very low on the right. But, the firm round hardness poking out from under my ribs is so very headlike. The doctor agreed with me last time. I didn't ask about it this time. The next appointment will be an exam anyway. They will test me for GBS and check the position internally and by ultrasound if needed. I can't wait... two weeks... it will be September. Holy Cow.

To go backwards in time a bit... we reviewed the maternity photos yesterday. They were all so gorgeous, it was hard to choose. But, we didn't want to spend a fortune, and this is a private (not cheap) professional photographer. So, we knew we weren't going to get many prints, just some really special ones to remember this time...

We're buying a 10x10 collage of 4 pics and a 5x7 of just me, and I'm not going to say how much that cost! But, I can't wait to have them, she said 3ish weeks. :) Thanks to DH for the most wonderful birthday gift. The photo shoot was so much fun, I felt like a star. I think more pictures were taken of me on Tuesday than in my entire life beforehand.

Next topic, baby shower. My extended family seems to be reluctant to RSVP... I hope more people show up. :/ I can count 7 that will make it, including me and my mother and the 2 hostesses. But, I'm sure it will be fun regardless.

Crafty

Short PG update: 34 weeks now, nursery is NOT ready, next Dr appt on Wednesday, baby is still heads up, baby shower next Sunday, did maternity photo shoot last week, will preview the pics on Tuesday, I'm excited!

Now then, aside from working and doing the bare minimum in terms of housework and yardwork, I have been polishing off some old projects. One, I finally beat Zelda Twilight Princess (Wii). I hadn't played in ages, it was fun to finish it. Now there's yet another Wii game we can trade in, I should really go through our embarrasing stack of never-played games. Mario Kart Wii lives in the slot. :)

The other project was a cross stitch, started circa 1999 or thereabouts. I'm pretty sure at one point DH decreed that I would NEVER finish it. Well, if his idea of never was a decade then perhaps he was right, because it's done! See, I bought needles and yarn to start some knitting projects. Then, I found my old cross stitch in a drawer and decided I really should finish it before moving on. So, I did. Here it is:



Right now it's on the speaker on my night stand, DH thinks it should go in the baby's room. Maybe, though it doesn't much fit the theme.

Now, without further ado, knitting! My stitches are NOT even, and I make mistakes. This was my first real attempt at making anything from a pattern. In the past I have knitted slippers (as taught by mom/grandma) and pot holders. Knit, purl, that's it. So, I know I can and should improve upon this.

I found a leaf pattern online, I want to soak it in essential oils and make it into a car freshener. I'm not sure if my half-baked idea will work, but here's' the first attempt:



I don't like the lopsidedness... it must have something to do with the way I cast on the second set of stitches. I also dropped a stitch in there somewhere in one of the decreases. I'm not sure if I'll keep it, or scrap it. But I know I'll try to make another. :)

Long update, Crib in the house!

I'll be 33 weeks this weekend! I wish I was a little bigger to be honest. I'm having my maternity portrait done on Tuesday. I guess I have an excuse to pig out this weekend. :P

My appointment today went well, I gained a perfectly acceptable pound from my last appointment. I chatted more with the doc about baby's breechy position. In my doctor's experience, external versions (the procedure to turn a baby forcibly from the outside) are not very successful in people of my body shape/size. That settles it for me, I wasn't very excited about the prospect anyway. I told him a C-Section doesn't freak me out if it comes to that. There is still plenty of time for her to turn (as shown by a recent unscientific google poll of "breech 32 weeks"). However, either she's lazy or things are getting a little snug. She hasn't budged for ~3 weeks.

After my appointment, I went to BRU to finish what we started on Monday. It took an extra few days and an extra trip but we have a crib!

We are very accustomed to stuffing almost anything into our hatchback vehicles (both our old and the new). Anything has in the past included a rain barrel, 8 foot posts, a full sized BBQ, THREE vinyl windows, etc (no, not all at once, but we didn't try so maybe it would have worked).

Truly, they are one part pickup truck one part dimensional pocket.

So, you can see why it did not occur to us *at all* that we'd have trouble fitting the crib. Alas, it appears that the hatchback opening of our car obeys the laws of physics after all. Also, apparently Carters Lifetime cribs have a reputation for coming in LARGE packages. To continue the long story, I had to appeal to my SUV-wielding parents to help us pick up and deliver the crib.

The crib loaded up nicely (just barely). Then, of course, we spent much time wandering through BRU and gawking at all things cute. Eventually, Dad and I had to tear my mom away, even as she limped to yet another clothing rack on her black/blue and possibly broken little toe. The Halloween outfits were awww-inspiring. Ghosty sleepsacks, hooded kitty sleepers with ears, and much orange and black. I know DH would throw a fit if I bought a one-time outfit. But, he can't stop grandma. :)

The crib now sits, still in box, in the living room. It may collect some friends as time passes and we accumulate stuff that has nowhere to go. Programming before painting... speaking of which...

I'm ending this day quite happy and content except for one minor detail. My summer vacation is OVER. :( I go back to work tomorrow, and what a pile of it I go back to. My updates will grow sparse as I spend more time doing and less time writing about doing. The net nanny is not kind to blogger or gmail.

The one bright side to going back to massive quantities of work is this: time is going to FLY like it never has before. I just hope I can snatch a breather to focus on hearth and home before the stork makes an appearance.

31 Week Belly

See! New belly picture!

I can say I'm definitely feeling pregnant these days. Each change of position takes 50% more effort than it used to, and dropping anything on the floor is a minor tragedy to be greeted with much groaning. But, those are the worst of my complaints so everything must be going well.

I had a couple of nasty bouts of heartburn, the kind that make you realize why major prescription drugs exist to treat it. "Oh, heartburn really can be debilitating!" But, thankfully some generic tums did the trick and it must have been situational/dietary because it hasn't come back.

The family baby shower has been scheduled, whew! Now I need to get the list of addresses to my friend so she can do invites. Everyone is so awesome and sweet. I need to conjure up some suitable hostess gifts.

I can't believe I go back to work full time next Thursday. Ugh. I could use a few more weeks to finish work projects, grant projects, and oh yeah, that nursery project... Alas, I can focus better on the work projects once I'm back at work anyway. It should all be done in a couple of weeks, same with the grant project. The lion's share of the nursery work will be DH's domain anyway, and we'll have almost all of September to work on it (I hope).

I know some women get crabby and feel done with being pregnant about now... while in some ways I'd like to have my body back (intimate relations really aren't worth the trouble at this point), I'm not impatient in the least. Also, air conditioning makes everything more bearable. :)

Heads Up!

It is very early yet, but my OB confirmed for me today that the softballesque shape I've been feeling near my right ribs is indeed a head. He said if baby is still breech in a month they will do an ultrasound to confirm, then talk about options.

I'm actually quite relaxed about this. One, a month is a long time for the little one to turn. Two, I'm really not much afraid of a C-Section. I have no interest in attempting to deliver a breech babe vaginally. In fact, I'm more concerned about an attempted external version that doesn't turn out well (I'm tainted by a horror story I read once).

My birth preferences go like this... Ideally I'd have an unmedicated mostly intervention-free labor and delivery of a baby in the perfect position, of the perfect size for me, with *relatively* little trauma to my pelvic region. My second most preferred birth would be a planned cesarean. I know, I like the extremes. Summer and winter, gardening and programming, natural birth and cesarean, what can I say?

I'm not saying if labor isn't easy then I want a cesarean. Not at all. I'm looking at relaxing music, breathing techniques, meditation, and reading a slew of "natural" birth stories with the expectation that labor pains may just blow all of that out of the water anyway. Difficulty is to be expected, even if there's no way I can really prepare for the degree or severity. But, I'd rather the baby not be posterior, in distress, with labor stalled/induced, under duress, etc.

Now, of course, I don't get to check a little box on a piece of paper somewhere and make that choice. "I want birth combo A please, and hold the pain." I didn't check a little box to pick when I would get pregnant, and there is no "healthy child please" box either. Stuff can happen that's beyond anyone's control. Of course it does not and should not stop me from having preferences and discussing them with my doctor. If she's still breech when the time comes, then so be it.

Now, a change of subject... DH has decided he's over his issues with the childbirth class and has developed some coping mechanisms for when he feels things have gone from useful to useless, ridiculous, or downright insulting. Yay! That's 1/3 less drama to concern myself with. :)

Sokay

All is well, especially on the pregnancy and health front. Though there are a few items under my skin as of late in the drama category.

DH has decided he hates our childbirth class. Admittedly, I haven't gotten much out of it, and I don't truly blame him. He hasn't decided if he's willing to go to another or not. I hope so... One, we paid for it. Two, there are some other subjects they will cover that we are both interested in. Three, if I show up alone I know I'll be pointed out (the instructor pointed out someone who was solo last class...) If we can just get the agenda (she still doesn't have it yet due to problems scheduling the pediatrician - one of the classes I want to go to) then maybe we can talk about which ones we still want to go to.

I've covered most birthing topics in even greater detail via my birthing books and the internet. I might highlight a few items for DH to take note of. Maybe we'll do some at-home education if we decide not to go to certain classes. I must do the hospital tour though. I'm still quite happy with the hospital.

The other drama item is the family baby shower, and scheduling issues. Those who are throwing the party for me are only available on the day/days that my mother is not available. Sigh. I'm trying not to stress about it, but I'm playing go between so it grumps me out.

Last but not least, DH doesn't want my mom in the room during the actual pushing/birthing part. That would kinda be okay with me, I tend to undergo certain regressions when with my mother that would probably not be productive. Except, she kinda already thinks she'll be there and I have to figure out how to uninvite her. I'm not going to lie or make anything up, or "forget" to call her when I'm going to the hospital. I just need to find a good way to be straightforward about it.

So, there's my vent. I'd take these problems over more serious ones any day! On the bright side, the 90 degree heat has been much more bearable so far than I expected, especially since we don't get air conditioning until Wednesday at the earliest.

Waddling Along

I've really grown lately, see:



In other news, we had our first "Prepared Childbirth" a.k.a. Lamaze class on Tuesday. It was a little long, and didn't contain much new info for a net-loving content-siphon like myself. They stopped the birth video before the cesarean part because we "weren't ready for that yet" (I've watched a few on YouTube).

I think hubby learned a bit, and I did need the reminder to exercise and drink plenty of water. Later on I know I'll benefit from the practice breathing/relaxing sessions, if only I let myself get into them and truly practice, instead of just giggling and feeling ridiculous. I'm not good at public vocalizations unless I'm in a teaching role.

The most reassuring thing was hearing about our particular hospital. I've been reading a TON of OB Nursing blogs, hearing all of the complaints and horror stories about interventions pushed on women in vulnerable positions. Yet, the nurse giving our class had nothing but wonderful things to say about our hospital. She says the reason why their cesarean rates are so low is because they have a doctor in the building at ALL times. So, the doc "on call" is actually sleeping there, cutting down on uncertainty and preemptive measures for everyone.

I have a post stewing about labor, delivery, birth plans, etc. It isn't ready yet though. I also have a stack of birthing books about 6 deep now (I recently rediscovered the public library! They even ship books to my local branch and hold them for me!). But, I need to finish reading the China Study first. :)

Hades at Home

Egads its hot. Tis 86 degrees in here.

I finally opened the windows, as the sun is set and its finally cooling off outside. It probably wouldn't get so bad if it were not for all of the heat-producing electronics in the house. Like, two CRT monitors, the aquarium lights, and the chiller to keep DH's aquarium cool (because the lights and the pump heat the water too much). Then there are minor things like the Wii, the modem, the stereo, etc. Oh, and lunch today involved the oven. :(

We cool the house down pretty well at night, but it gets awfully hot way before it cools off enough to open things up again.

That said, cooler days are coming! It's supposed to be 10 degrees cooler tomorrow. Also, in the next 2 weeks we are having 3 new windows delivered! One of them will become the home of an air conditioner (our current windows are ancient and all painted/nailed shut), and then life will be much easier. Hopefully that will be done by the time the next heatwave hits.

Until then, there's plenty of water, and ice cream. :)

Happy 4th!

Wishing my fellow Americans a happy 4th of July (and a happy Saturday to others). I will be the obligatory designated driver this evening, following the BBQ at my brother's house. I've made and am bringing the classic family potato salad, by request. :)

Today I am also celebrating the beginning of the 3rd trimester. Could I really be holding a baby in my arms in 84ish days??? I alternate joy and terror at the thought. Much left to be done...

My MIL brought us a slightly used changing table and carseat, and I truly appreciate her generousity. Though I have my concerns about a used carseat. We already have the brand new one with the travel system, so we were just going to get another base for it for our other car. I'll have to look it up and make sure it hasn't been recalled. Or, I could give it to my parents for occasional use. Anyway, less stuff to buy is great.

I've also been sanding my old dresser. I have one more drawer left to sand, and then the whole dresser piece. I also have 2 little bookshelf/nightstands to sand. Then I'm going to paint it all white. Maybe if I get ambitious I'll stencil some dragonflies on it. That leaves the following big items to buy: crib, cosleeper/bassinet, and pack n'play (for downstairs and grandparents). We have some gift cards that should help with that.

Yesterday we bought paint! Imperial Plum, Zero Voc, I can't wait to see it on the walls. We're also buying 3 windows for downstairs. All of our current windows in the livingroom are ancient and painted shut. It will be so very welcome to have an air conditioner and a cross breeze.

Surely the economy should recover swiftly though our efforts. :p

Long Wait, No Worries

I was in for my appointment today, I'll finally be hitting the 3rd trimester this weekend! Its a good thing I decided to take the day off work, because the wait was excruciating.

*start Dr office vent*

First, I was running late getting out of the house. I had also totally spaced getting a FMU sample, then I couldn't even find the cup. Cripes! I scrambled around the house looking everywhere before I finally gave up and rushed out the door.

I arrived five minutes late only to find that appointments were running 30-45 minutes late. And, of course, because *I* was in such a hurry to get my butt to the appointment I had neglected to bring my book or mp3/radio player. Though that did give me plenty of time to provide the sample I'd neglected to bring.

There were a couple of little boys in the office that were cute for a while, until it became a constant stream of parents telling them not to stand/touch/speak/move/etc with no tools on hand to distract or entertain them. Now, as a FTM I'm not about to start giving parenting advice BUT... If I ever bring my child(ren) somewhere and make them wait forever without having some sort of entertainment on hand then I give all onlookers every right to make ranty posts about me online, and complain about me to their spouses/friends/relatives. :)

Eventually (after a painful game of solitaire on my tiny phone screen) the nurse called me, did the basic stuff, then left me in another waiting room. There, I found a magazine, and realized I must be getting REALLY hungry when the advertizement for dog biscuits made my mouth water. Everyone was quite apologetic though, and the nurse gave me a free sample: formula that I hope not to need, but wrapped in a rather nice changing pad.

I think I finally saw the Dr. an hour and 15 minutes after my original appointment time.

*end vent*

The good news is, there is not much to say. I passed the glucose test, 147 heartbeat, measured me but made no comment, and said not to worry about the mole on my chest under my right breast (which seems to get darker and ulgier every day, but that could just be my perception :p).

After the appointment I treated myself with a little bit of shopping (new larger underwear *smirk*) and a carwash.

I hope my next appt in 3 weeks is just as normal, but without the wait!

Test results tomorrow

I'm taking tomorrow off from work. My doctor's appointment is at 10:45am, right smack in the middle of my day. I have the most flexible boss on the planet so I'll just make up the day next month.

I'm supposed to have between July 10th and August 6th off, but I never actually get my full summer break. There is always a project that they pay me extra for. The project hasn't truly started just yet so I might as well work the day in a week or two and save them the money.

Hopefully I'll find that I passed my glucose tolerance test. I don't see a specific reason why I shouldn't, except maybe the history of diabetes that runs hot and heavy on my mother's side. My body type leans more toward my paternal side though.

I'm starting to get antsy about nursery preparations. DH has not been very energetic when it comes to starting any of the projects that need starting. Unfortunately he's a very "into pressure" person. When pushed... he pushes back with a vengeance. So, I have to be creative about bringing things up, and making him think its his idea. He never feels the same sense of urgency about anything as I do.

Ultimately, the LO will sleep next to our bed for a month or two anyway, so in the grand scheme a 100% completed nursery is not a big deal. Except it feels like it is! When would we have time after she's here anyway? 87 days... so long and so short all at the same time.

3rd Trimester Slump

I think I'm hitting the 3rd trimester slump a week early. I've been clumsy and easily tired all weekend. Though the recent increase in heat probably plays a role too. I did manage to get some weeding, watering, and shopping done, though on a typical weekend I'd have done twice as much.

Another supposed symptom: my crafting drive has been revived. I bought some double pointed needles and circular needles and yarn today (yay, gift card!). My ambitions include legwarmers, socks, and if I'm REALLY motivated, some rudimentary cables. :)

I also find myself desperately desiring a sewing machine. I'm hoping I can get one handed down from a friend, or fish for one on freecycle. My ambitions include hemming my own clothes, sewing a simple curtain, and a rudimentary slipcover for an unuphulstered rocking chair.

Though a tiny voice in the back of my head is nagging me about a crosstitch project I never finished, and a dresser that needs sanding. Shhhh. Learning something new and playing with new toys is much more fun.

Wednesday I get the results of my glucose test. It was not nearly as horrible as I imagined. I did not get a choice of flavors, but the liquid was clear and cold and not as thick as I'd feared. I read my book and listened to the radio for an hour then she brought me back to take my blood. The phlebotomist was as sweet as the drink she gave me. She was also much more skilled than the last woman about finding my vein and causing little to no pain (note to self, left arm is best). I didn't even bruise! Of course it was only 2 vials this time instead of 6.

This next week calls for another belly shot.

Now, back to the title of this post... ZZzzZZzZzzz....

I saw her

or should I say I saw me? Or, I saw her moving my midsection?

It was nothing definite, no shape, no contour. She almost certainly had the hiccoughs, and my belly jumped with her spasm. Even DH noticed. :)

Here are some unedited images of the baby shower that exploded in the junk room that shall become nursery. First, a small selection of that which was showered upon me. Second, the travel system, third, the loving handicraft of a dear friend.

Make way for belly

I think I had my first random stranger notice and comment last week, a cashier. She asked me when I was due. But, my O'Douls purchase did act as supporting evidence. :p

This weekend I will write all of my thank-yous and sort baby stuff. Twill be fun. I will also hang out with an old friend at some point. We were inseperable from kindergarten to 5th grade, but slowly drifted apart after I moved to the other side of town. We've been trying to get back in touch off and on for a couple of years. She's been busy with school and is graduating this weekend, I think she's going on to grad school.

She had a necessary operation as a teen and will never have biological children. When I told her I was pg, I was being super sensitive. But, she has shrugged off my concerns for the most part, and responded only with great enthusiasm. I guess she's had a couple of decades to process it. I still want to be thoughtful though.

Open heart, insert joy

I'm in an exceedingly good place right now. I know I've said this before, but I half expect some dramatic tragedy to befall at any moment just because everything is going so perfectly. If you want to read about overwhelming joy and good fortune in the life of someone who has done nothing special to deserve it, you've come to the right blog.

So, I'm going to share the most pressing problems in my life right now. It sounds odd but they best illustrate how amazing everything really is.

My biggest problem now is how and when to write dozens and dozens of thank-you cards. First, I need to thank everyone who took the time to nominate me for an award at work, and donated their money for gift cards. I've been recognized by the school board and that's just plain awesome. I know I work hard, but I LOVE what I do. The recognition has been over the top! Over 60 people nominated me, I'm still in awe. I'm about halfway through thank-yous. I'm personalizing them as best I can, but it is tough with so many to get through. I REALLY must find something special to do for my boss. I wouldn't be where I am without him, he's the one that has seen my potential, and given me enough challenge and opportunity to thrive as well as setting up this award and keeping it a big fat secret. No matter how I thank him, I'm forever indebted.

Then, when I have that problem solved, there's the matter of the thank you cards for the baby shower last Tuesday. It boiled down to an assembly-line of gift opening. One of my coworkers described it as being "Like Christmas, for Everyone!" Highlights included the exact travel system (carseat/stroller) DH and I had picked out, and a lovingly crocheted sweater, hat, and blanket which I intend to make heirlooms out of. There was also a wardrobe of outfits, and various toys and necessities. Last but definitely not least, gift cards which I can use to buy some breast-related accessories. :) DH was overwhelmed as he helped me unpack the car. Now, Gift Mountain sits in our living room, a very pressing reminder that the nursery needs to be cleaned out as of LAST week. *insert more awe here*

I really should take some pictures. But, thank you cards take precedence. I'm under the gun as the last day of school is the 17th. I hope to have the first batch done this weekend, and the second done next week. DH is supposed to help with the nursery. Something tells me the yard/garden will be suffering a bit...

More good stuff: I had a doctor's appointment Thursday and the word "perfect" was tossed around quite a bit. There was heartbeat-hearing (never get enough of that) and belly measuring, and handing out of freebees. I now have my pre-registration paperwork for the hospital (OMG, already?) and I've signed us up for prepared childbirth classes to begin next month. I need to have my glucose test done before my next appointment.

I feel the little one kicking and moving several times a day (like right now). Its become a reassuring background process, almost like breathing though more intermittent. I don't drop everything to take notice every time, it is frequent enough that I'd never get anything done! But, I do take several belly breaks. I've also started singing and talking to baby (usually at night and while driving to work). DH occasionally talks to my belly, but not often. He has felt her move several times.

Speaking of driving to work, I love my car too. I've used the AC a couple of times now. I used to think such things luxuries, its almost sad how quickly they become necessities.

I'm definitely at the top of a roller coaster.

Drive-by update

Belly pics, circa 4 weeks ago:



The coworkers are throwing me a shower tomorrow. I can't wait. I sure hope we REALLY have a girl, because I suspect 90% of what I'm showered with will be some shade of pink. DH wanted to keep things as gender neutral as possible, and I did mention lavender as our primary color, but I get the sense that the surrogate grandmothers at work (a couple dozen of them) have been thrilled about buying girly items. It is cute to see them so excited and to be the reason behind it.

Besides that, things at work have been pretty dismal lately. Layoff notices, a forced move a new office, scattering employees, uncertainty galore. Hence, the shower is being held quite early (I'm not quite 6 months). School is almost out and we won't all be together in the fall. :( So, for now, any cause for celebration has been quite welcome. I'm honored to share the joy, and hope everyone has fun.

I ordered my hostess gifts for the 2 hostesses, personalized post-it notes that I found online. They are both secretaries so I think they will like them. I know I always loved that kind of stuff.

I'll try to be a better blogger now that I've repaired my CPU cooler. I had to temporarily remove the motherboard to do it, but I'm very happy with the results. It even has a blue LED that I can see through my clear case. At a glance, I can tell the fan is still spinning. My computer hasn't overheated or crashed once! I even reinstalled XP, and everything feels clean and nice and fast. :)

Transmogrification Wardrobe Malfunction

All is well. I'm a bad blogger due to my cpu fan's untimely death. Recent hot temperatures have pushed my poor computer over the edge. Ninety degrees C makes electrons grumpy. So, I'm giving it a rest until a replacement cooler arrives from Amazon.

I'm having some unexpected difficulty adjusting to my changing shape. I was all prepared for my pants to become uncomfortable. I have belly band-type things (black and white). I have maternity pants washed and ready. However, I seriously neglected one vital part of my wardrobe... Most of my shirts and the majority of those I wear to work are too short. My belly is peeking out.

I always put my clothes out the night before, I wake up too darn early to put thought into such things. So, it wasn't until I was ready to leave that I noticed my naked belly was visible most of the way around. My jeans (a regular pair that have always been a little loose) fit just fine. I used by belly band to hide my peeking midsection. It seemed to work. I'll have to give more thought to my shirts though, maybe just get some long tank tops or camisoles to wear underneath.

My breasts are in a strange limbo state between A and B. I've always been in "Almost A" territory. Now I guess I'm almost B. My regular bras (small A) don't fit very well any longer, but Bs are too large. I don't want to buy any standard As because I figure they won't fit much longer. I did manage to find ONE barely B that will help get me by.

The moment I get home I assume a certain position some might consider uncouth... pants undone and hand low on my abdomen, feeling a little one flex some muscle. :)

Must post pictures soon. Must also post about my dream, wherein I gave birth to a roast chicken.

Free Tomato Seeds

Campbell's is giving away free tomato seeds if you type in a code from the bottom of one of their cans as part of their "Help Grow Your Soup" promotion:

http://www.helpgrowyoursoup.com/

Also, while there, you can click the Grow button and donate some seeds to the Plant a Row for the Hungry project!

Happy Friday!

Much processing

At last, I have time to post about the ultrasound that took place on Monday.

DH, mom, and I arrived, and barely had to wait at all. I forked over $10 for the DVD while DH rolled his eyes. :P They put us in a nice large room, where DH and my mom had to take turns with the only guest chair.

The ultrasound tech came in and got started. She was extremely dry and all business. We were trying to have a lighthearted mood but she was not interested in the least. Though she was very considerate, and let me use the bathroom after getting a good fix on the position and some measurements, and again later as my bladder filled.

She spent a LONG time on the nose/mouth area. I was almost concerned there was a problem but I didn't see anything obvious. We saw many wonderful important things, a definite spine, brain structures, kidneys, stomach, heart, clear bones in arms and legs. Everything seemed in place (though I get the sense she wouldn't have said a word if something was off).

She was absolutely silent on the subject of gender, didn't even ask if we wanted to know or not. Eventually, about halfway through, I asked and she said she'd take a look at the end. I understand that it is NOT an important thing she's supposed to document, and has little to no medical relevance. But, seriously, can she not know that people are interested and excited? Somehow I thought she'd be asking us if we wanted to know, and upping the suspense throughout the scan. Anyway, at last she zoomed in to the proper area and pointed out what looked like labia to her. :)

I received two pictures. The profile posted below is a head shot only, taken from the side, with nose pointing straight up. The pink bow on the forehead is, of course, artistic license. :) The other picture I received was a nose/mouth. I've grabbed a few other still shots from the DVD. I'm so happy I have it!

So, I am processing this wonderful news (it would have been wonderful either way of course), as well as a very very special honor I received at work yesterday. Maybe I'll post more about that later, but I do have the best boss in the whole world.

:)

Ultrasound Dreams

I had a dream last night that both my mother and MIL came with us to the ultrasound. They were both being pushy trying to get me in before I was even called, including barging up a flight of stairs to drag me in! Only my mom and DH are coming with me.

So, now's the time to make predictions ahead of Monday's appointment: boy, girl, or cannot be determined at the time?

My thoughts: I'm "feeling" girl and we're hoping girl, but I'm trying to ignore all of that because I know I'll be overjoyed with either variety of healthy human. Also, I had a dream about a baby girl in a carseat just before I received my BFP. A few weeks later though, I had a dream that I had a penis (?!?!) which could be a boy omen. Because, I guess if I'm carrying a boy then I do have one right now in a sense... hee hee.

DH says he's going to be skeptical and take it with a grain of salt no matter what. He doesn't have high opinions about ultrasound accuracy for gender predictions. I'm urging him to wait until he sees what's on the screen. Who knows, maybe it will be obvious!

Everyone at work is hoping girl except for my bossman, who hopes boy. They are all going to be waiting anxiously for an update. I have a mini-blog I posted for people at work to see, so I'll update that for them when I know. Of course I'll also post here. :)

Now, I need to get out and start my garden day!

Maternity Shopping

It was my mom's birthday yesterday, and I dragged her with me to a huge baby/maternity consignment sale. We went on the last day, admission was free and some things were half off. This may explain why the maternity section was a little small. But, I found some great items.

I bought 3 pair of pants, 1 pair of capris, 1 summer dress, 4 shirts, and 1 baby overalls for $30. So, approximately $3 per item. Everything was in really good shape with brands like Motherhood, Old Navy, and The GAP. Just for the fun of it we were looking at the baby clothes, and we saw the overalls. Since they are gender neutral, and they were $1.50, I couldn't resist. So, we now have our first baby clothing.

They are having another similar consignment sale in June, hopefully we'll know what we are having by then and I can pick up some more deals! Ultrasound: 2 weeks and counting.

I took today off of work to play in the yard, and so far I haven't checked work email and I don't feel guilty. :)

Baby Exposure

I went to visit my friend from High School yesterday after work. We haven't kept in touch very frequently. Occasionally I get a wild hair and try to change that, then one or both of us drifts again.

She just had a baby in March, the little girl is 5 weeks now. I stopped by, bringing hot drinks, held the baby, and we chatted for ~3 hours. It was great on many levels, for both of us if I may be so bold to assume. I was a very interested audience as she talked about the trials of pregnancy and early parenthood.

Baby J is adorable, though I am pretty sure now that I am not a "baby" woman. When TTC I definitely looked upon them with envy, and thought they were cute enough most of the time. I have also had many daydreams involving holding MY baby. But, I have never really squealed and begged to hold anyone's baby. In fact, I usually dodged games of pass the baby, for fear I'd do something wrong. Holding baby J was nice, but I passed her back to momma when my arms were a little tired, though she seemed to be dozing rather peacefully.

I've always been more likely to engage toddlers and preschoolers. Witnessing and participating in their emerging personhood truly amazes me and draws me in. They are so eager for exposure to new things... I could spend hours with a tyke one-on-one, and the fewer toys the better. Give me a piece of paper and markers, some blocks, or just the natural world, and we'd have a blast.

One image that sticks with me about my visit with M and baby J... One thing I really loved seeing... is when her DH came home and was holding and playing with the baby. Seeing DH with our baby, should the fates allow, would overflow my heart.

Heartbeat, Belly Shots

I heard the heartbeat on Thursday! My OB had to dig for it just a little bit, just when I was getting a little nervous I heard the wonderful woosh woosh woosh. Then the doctor said the baby is moving, and the sound morphed into a more rapid shwew shwew shwew. It sounded like video game laser beams at a distance. :) I told DH later, and we commented that we have a gamer-in-training.

I now have the abdominal ultrasound date!!! It is set for May 4th, my follow-up appointment with my doctor is on May 7th. Its three weeks from Monday, I can't wait. I have two concerns about the appointment, who they allow in and how much I should drink.

Some moms have told me to drink exactly as much as they say to. Others have said to drink less than requested, because they followed instructions and it didn't work out so well (were forced to wait and couldn't hold it, had a miserable experience, or were asked to empty some anyway before the ultrasound). I'm already using the bathroom every 30 minutes without extra fluids...

As for how many spectators they allow... the scheduling lady said nothing on the subject, and the doctor's order only says no children. But, when I was rummaging around on the web site it said they allow only one visitor. My mom really wants to be there, and my DH might or might not be ambivalent, but I really want my DH there. Maybe I'll call and ask them to be sure.

Every time I ask DH to take a belly shot we both find ourselves giggling. FINALLY, I have edited the pictures. I still think I look like I'm just gaining weight, with an obvious fullness but no bump. I do appreciate my new haircut!

15w1d - a craving!

I was laying awake in bed for hours thinking I'd fall back to sleep, but no. I should know better. Every now and then something gets out of whack and I wake up way too early. These episodes precede pregnancy, though the frequent bathroom trips probably exacerbate the problem. Now I'm up, having made my tummy happy with some milk, wondering if I should go back to bed or just nap later. Or, maybe both. :) Though I hesitate to spend the last day of my spring break in bed (and with temps over 50 degrees at last!)

As for the point of this post, I was at the mall on Friday, getting a haircut and doing some gift shopping. Aside: I was sure to hit the bathroom both before and after my haircut. My bladder has always been on the small and active side. But, it seems to be aiming for all new levels of frequency.

Anyway, after the to-do list was taken care of, I started feeling very hungry. So, I wandered up to the food court. With over a half-dozen choices you would think something would be appetizing, but no. Pizza? Ugh. Flaming Wok? Meh... and kinda spendy. Ivars? Fish sounds okay, but not fried. A&W is DH's favorite lately, so we eat there too often as it is.

Then, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I must have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich! So, I headed out to the car. All I could think about on the way home was crunchy peanut butter, nestled up against my new blackberry jam washed down with a cold glass of milk (yes, I'm a lactose-addict lately). My easy, cheap, classic lunch lived up to all of my expectations. Now its starting to sound good for breakfast...

Award, Pics

Tiffany over at To A T gave me an award a few days ago, that I am just now getting to!



Now I am ready for some good ole lemonade.....Here are a few rules.....
1.Put the Lemonade Award logo on your blog or post
2.Nominate at least 10 blogs that show great attitude or gratitude
3.Link to your nominees within your post
4.Let the nominees know that they have received this award by commenting on their blog
5.Share the love and link to the person from who you received your award
And my Lemonade Award goes to....

I don't think I can pick 10 without re-tagging, and I might be re-tagging anyway! But, here are some that came to mind:

Mrs. Spit
babysmiling
Natalie
Katie
Brandi

And, further in lieu of a real post, here are a couple of pictures.

1. My seed-starting setup. You see a couple of examples of my paper pots (the soil holds down the inner flaps). I may fill them up in the next couple of days. Inside the towel are individually labeled zip locks with soaking seeds. Beneath all of it is a heating pad.



2. The new baby carriage! Note: I just couldn't crop out the daffodils coming up in the lower-left corner.

Spring Break!

I should be grocery shopping, but a post is long overdue! All is entirely well. If it was any more well I would dissolve into a puddle of wellness.

I've resolved my fluids dilemma for now with Tang and Ovaltine (no, not mixed together). I'm diluting them generously to avoid sugar overload. So far so good. I've also just now succeeded at baking a nice batch of bran muffins (with a sprinkle of raisins and walnuts). They are actually edible, and on my first try! I munched two right away.

We picked up our new car Monday night. It is so cute, I love it. I'm going to get used to it all too soon. I've been calling it the baby carriage. At some point down the road, if all goes well, DH will occasionally need to keep the new car while I work because he will have baby errands. It will be strange to drive our old car. :)

I made my first maternity purchase at Target yesterday, a BeBand (bella band substitute). I don't have to use it yet, but that day is approaching, especially after eating at Olive Garden for dinner last night. :p I would estimate my weight gain to date at an average of 3 pounds, though I feel rounder and heavier in many respects. We also bought new pillows (DH likes the 2nd most expensive kind in existance!) so our old pillows are going to form the first pillars of my sleep support system.

My only "poor me" at the moment (*insert flogging for being a whiner here*) is impatience. I want to feel movement, it has been a whole 17 days since we saw our stickie moving on the ultrasound. Who knows what's going on in there now? My other impatience is gender identification. I'm a convicted planner, and I want to plan dangit. Though I admit, girl or boy, lavender is going to play a role. I'd also like to look pregnant instead of like I've been a glutton.

I'm aware I have an bloggish award out there somewhere, I will have to see to that soon!

Wheels

I must admit last week was fun. We have over 100 people who pop in and out of the office, so many of them were not around for the big announcement on Monday. It seems there were a couple people each day that I told, or that "found out" and were happy and thrilled.

All is quiet on the oven front. I'm trying to be healthy and hanging out in the holding pattern. I've been very thirsty lately, and water really isn't my most favorite drink. Milk and juice only get me so far. I'd probably be sucking down green tea if it were not for the folic acid absorption issue. I've tried throwing honey and lemon at my water with modest success. Next I may try some gatorade drink mix.

I have bloating that comes and goes, but no real bump. I can find my uterus when I look for it, but it isn't making itself incredibly obvious just yet. I'm impatient for showing and movement. I will post belly pics once I have one that shows some difference from my first pic.

It was funny, apparently my dad has started badgering my mom about when she's going to get on with planning a baby shower. He also wants to go shopping. I think its cute my dad is almost/even more excited than my mom.

Last but not least, the title of this post. This weekend we are car shopping, hoping to officially buy next weekend. Our current car is 11yrs old, cracked windshield, no air conditioning, golf cart that would collapse at the first sign of collision with the monster trucks that drive around here. So, we're aiming at a Honda Fit. Still small and economical, with more doors, a/c, and safety. I'm excited!

The world knows + u/s pic

We told my mom and dad last night.  I wore a shirt to work today that said "Baby Loading..." with a progress bar.  :)

First, my parents. This will be their first grandbaby, and DH and I have been married for 9 years.  So, yes, they were thrilled.  I had the pretense of bringing over a flier my dad asked me to make.  I gave him a copy of the flier, and my mom a copy of the ultrasound. She said, "Is this you???"  She was jubilant, they both are.  Though she said I should have told her, she would have been there for the u/s.  Sorry mom, it was wierd enough having DH there for my pelvic exam and vaginal ultrasound.  I just told her I wanted to be sure everything was okay first.  She can come to the next abdominal ultrasound.

Then, she was all about baby names.  Apparently she'd be thrilled if a grandchild was named after her nickname.  Sorry mom, don't think so. Yes,  we have names picked out, no we aren't telling anyone (even the anonymyous-net) because you'd all think the names are wierd, or would want to steal them.  I did tell her not to worry too much, we have standards.  1. Easy to spell.  2. Easy to pronounce. 3. Don't BEG to bemade fun of.  Then I deflected by asking what SHE wanted to be named.  Nana T-, I like it.  :)

At work today it was all surprised and happy hugs and joy.  Though a couple of the more observant ladies noticed I'd seemed a little more run down than usual lately.  The big shocker, even my boss was happy.  He didn't flinch too much at the date either.  Though later on he was talking to people (very much tongue in cheek) about allowing me only 2 weeks off and setting me up a workstation at home and a crib at work. :p  That reminds me, I tried to call HR today, but my HR lady was out.

I feel on the edge of... not a freakout but... something... now that everyone knows.   It is starting to sink in, not for real but for surreal.  It's as if I'm beginning to take steps out of the life I've known and into someone else's. Figuratively, my skin does not quite feel like my own.  I'm looking into the mirror and seeing someone else's face.  I'm waking in the morning to live someone else's life. I have no doubts that I'll adjust, adaptability is one of my strong suits.  These are interesting times.  This is why:

Baby Inside!

Pics later, I either have to take them with my camera, or sneak them in to work where I can use the scanner.

In retrospect, I feel lucky our appointment happened! Their office had 3 doctors out, so my OB was covering and busy.  When we arrived he was delivering a baby at the hospital next door, so the official part of the appointment started an hour late.  In the mean time, the nurse took my weight and BP, and we talked to the billing lady and had to sign a contract.  Finally, my Dr was available.

He did the exam, and felt my uterus.  Yep, its that growing hardness beneath my belly button that I was wondering about.  Next he hooked me up for the  transvaginal ultrasound.  Wow!  It was sooo cool.  The baby squirmed, rubbed face, waved, kicked etc while its little heart beat away at 165 bpm.  I was glad DH was there to see it all. They left us with 5 pictures, which are awesome but don't even compare to the live motion view.

I mostly just stared in awe, smiling, nodding and trying remember everything my Dr. said.  He said all looks well, "perfect" even and that we'd probably hear him say that many times throughout the pregnancy.  I hope he's right.  I am really happy with my OB, and glad he was able to get to us before he had to rush off and deliver baby #5 for the day (and I overheard that there would be a C-section after that). Next appt in 4 weeks.

So, unfortunately, my parents won't both be in the same place (and awake) until Sunday evening, so I'll have to wait to tell them then.  I plan on breaking the news to my poor boss on Monday. :)

To Do List:  Get my u/s pictures digitized, and take another belly pic, and post all of the above.  I guess I'm not "just" bloated after all.

Three.More.Days

Just random kvetches and gripes, nothing to see here!

Now I'm second-guessing what I thought I heard at the office.  I'm pretty sure the nurse said they have a smaller less-sophisticated ultrasound they will use at my next appointment.  But, the appointment schedule sheet says the next appointment is when I hear fetal heart tones.  So... maybe she actually said doppler instead?  But maybe not.  I don't know, I'm confused. Three more days, no regular symptoms. I hope there's a somebody in there, alive and well in a comfy womb.  

I'm also a little glum due to daylight savings.  DST is mostly just a hindrence for those who work at "it.hurts.o'clock" in the morning.  My morning sunrise has been pushed back a month. :(

Oh, the new blanket of snow really wasn't helpful for my mood either.  We had just gotten rid of the dirty icy remains of our monster winter.  But, it isn't done with us yet.  1-3 more inches tonight, hmf.  

I'm thankful for...  being pregnant, a busy/occupying occupation that compensates us fairly, good snow tires, a loving DH, and a president who appreciates scientific inquiry and its role in developing public policy.

10w2d, Appointment ETA 7 days

Nope, my appointment isn't here yet. It has been forever-ish, like running a marathon through a foot of cold peanutbutter.  I've stocked up plenty of comp-time to make next Thursday a half day. Now, it just has to get here.  I really should've saved up some of that patience I squandered during various two week waits.

Anyway, there are far worse things. :)

One kind of disturbing thing today was an uncomfortable dizzy spell I had at work.  I haven't had an issue like that in years.  Though I used to let my blood sugar get a little low occasonally in my late teens/early 20s.  

We were watching a copy machine demo, in a crowded stuffy hot room, no chairs. I tried shifting my weight, marching in place, bending my knees, popping a vitamin C drop, but I could feel the room closing in and my vision was getting sparkly.  I discreetly scooted out into the hall and around the corner where I found a comfy chair to rest in, and made like I was making some notes.  When I felt well enough, I visited the drinking fountain down the hall, used the restroom, and took another drink.  I rejoined the gathering feeling much better.

I need to remind myself to eat more protein I spose.  I had a stick of cheese with lunch, and there were some legumes in my soup, but probably not nearly enough.  I'll have to fix that for tomorrow.

Now, its off to my Yoga/Pilates class. I'm definitely going to take it easy.

A Nerdy PG-Free Post

So, I've been hoping to spend some quality time with CivIV:BTS (a turn-based strategy game on the computer).  But, as I've mentioned before, my computer keeps crashing. I've always been suspicious about the temperature, which is why I run with my case off.

Today I finally installed some software to monitor my CPU temp, and fired up Civ.  Sure enough, after ~20 minutes the screen froze.

I restarted and checked the log to see 94 degrees CELSIUS (over 200 degrees F for my fellow Americans). Were it not for all of the electrons floating around, I could nearly use my cpu to boil water. No wonder my system hasn't been stable. 

Now, what to do about it...  

A. Give up on Civ

B. Get an extension cord so I can plug in an external fan to blow on my computer.

C. Surf around for a more uber cooling system for my poor CPU.  If COMP-USA was still here I'd just go pick one up... I really liked shopping with them for parts because I knew I could take things back without shipping them.

I guess I'll do A until I can do B and then if B doesn't solve it or come summer time when I'm sure it will be more of an issue I'll try C.

I'm getting close to being in the market for a new computer, a laptop this time, but alas... I am waiting for Windows 7.  In the words of micro$oft, I'm a PC.  I'm a PC because that's what I've always used, because that's what I use at work, because I have an unnatural right-click attachment, and because Linux is not mainstream enough just yet. 

While I'm doing A, I guess I'll do more reading.  A coworker gave me a book called Islandia, perhaps I'll like it. I really haven't been picky about reading material lately, so I'm hopeful.

9w3d FRIDAY!

It was a long busy week at work. I'm happy to be home.

Though I have a few things on my list this weekend too.  I've decided to sign up for the next 6 weeks of my yoga/pilates.  It really helps relax me after a stressful day at work, and I know I won't exactly have the discipline for just doing videos on my own. 

The u/s feels so far away... To some extent, I feel like it none of this will be real to me until I have something tangible to look at.  For all I know, there could be an alien, leprechaun, or tumor in there!  I must see baby!  Then I can relax a bit and tell the whole world.  Alas, 12 days 22 hours and 18ish minutes.  I have a ticker for it on my iGoogle page.  It is titled, "Planting Seeds".  :p   I can probably order my announcement shirt now. Even that will take a smidge of faith and courage for some odd reason.

Gender thoughts: I will love and cherish whatever gender of human the universe sees fit to bless us with, without disappointment. That said, a girl would be lovely for a few reasons. DH says he would feel more comfortable raising a girl (though I'm not sure he says that from a place of objective reasoning).  The spare bedroom is already pink, with textured walls that I'd not be eager to repaint.  Last but not least, I'd love to cultivate a mother daughter relationship.  There is nothing necessarily wrong with my relationship with my mother, but there have always been layers of guardedness, times I've tried to confide that weren't exactly received in the most receptive fashion. 

I know I'll be a less than ideal parent on several levels. I'm sure nothing will be perfect.  Just imperfect in a different way, perhaps. :)

Now, to grab a snack and pour over the latest issue of Organic Gardening.

Week Nine

All's well!  I have been totally ravenous, I've also had a bit of constipation. Neither of which has been unmanageable.

My diet has improved.  I've stocked up on spinach, berries, veggies, rice cakes, and some of the easier-to-prepare meals that are healthy. It also helped that DH made the kitchen a glorious shiny place to cook in.  The biggest factor may be the naps I've been allowing myself every day after work. The post-lunch slump is murder, but after my nap I feel much more alive.

Last night I had a dream that word slipped out that I was expecting. I couldn't even remember the details or who found out or how or what I felt about it.  But, I do kinda fear someone pointing a finger at me every time I turn around. :p  

I have suspicions that a coworker might have found my blog. He's been taking a sudden interest in my work.  He happens to be the person most likely to cover for me during leave...  he's rather discreet so it wouldn't be a big deal. But, its probably all in my head anyway. :)  

Two weeks two days until ultrasound! I have been thinking about it a dozen times a day, easily. I'd pass more time with Civ, except my computer keeps overheating and crashing.  It used to just crash when I kept the case on...  I need to point a fan at it, but our frightening mess of power strips has no opening.

I have yoga tonight and Thursday, then my class is over.  So, I bought a prenatal yoga DVD on Amazon.  I also picked up 4 prenatal books from the library. The lady behind the counter gave me some wierd looks... maybe because I look young for my age. Maybe because she thinks I won't be able to finish them before they are due. *shrugs*

Nothing Tragic

I tried to call this morning at 10 minutes after the office opened, but they still had their morning answering message up.  The spotting had become lighter and browner, and I became less worried as a result.

I didn't get a chance to call back until after work.  I was waylaid by various tasks (like the state wanting a sudden necessary revision to one of our vital forms, sigh) and had no sure opportunity for a private phone call.

I called in from my car after work, and received a call back from a nurse just a few minutes ago.  As expected, no need to rush me in. I'm one of 30% who have spotting, and the nurse recommended pelvic rest.  That's fine by me, I could probably use a break. :p  The spotting is barely noticable now, for that I am quite thankful.

So, to change the subject, its time for me to navel-gaze about my diet...  I eat fairly well for breakfast and lunch.  Breakfast is typically either oatmeal w/milk, or yogurt with berries and granola.  My snack is typically fruit, sometimes w/peanut butter.  Lunch is usually soup (lentil, bean, chicken, etc) or salad (shrimp or tuna), sometimes with some cheese.  I have cheese or nuts for a snack when I come home. But, dinner really does me in.  I come home exhausted, and cooking nourishing fare feels like too much work. Hence, tonight we're feasting on corndogs.   Prior nights have involved fast food. 

Part of me pats myself on the back for eschewing caffeine, alcohol, etc. and eating a varied diet.  The other part of me beleagures my sugar, salt, and fat intake.  There's a long list of foods to avoid that I was given by the nurse.  I think I've eaten almost all of them!  However, corn dogs were not on the list. :p

Not how I wanted to wake up...

Pink spotting on TP and on panty liner placed afterwards. Crap. 

No cramps though, and maybe we were a little exuberant last night... so I'm trying not to gloom it up. I'm going to work, I'll call the Dr. office when they open.  I would be surprised if they want to see me, but who knows.

Argh.

First Appointment

I went in to see the nurse today with my FMU sample.  I started by filling out a bunch of paperwork, the nurse called me back when I was 3/4 of the way through. She confirmed the pregnancy and gave me a long list of all of the Do's and Dont's.  They gave me a bag with the office logo on it to put all of the pamphlets and fliers in.  Most of it is stuff I've already learned through my Mayo Clinic's Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy and the internet.  

There were some items of value. I was happy to get a calendar with fetal stages on it, and some cute stickers I can add to it for 1st ultrasound, feeling 1st movement, etc.  I was also happy to get some pamphlets about deciding which prenatal tests to have done, and various options for labor and delivery (monitoring, pain relief, etc).  I'll have to post more about the hospital's Family Materinity Center later.  It sounds really spiffy.

She gave me a schedule of when they will see me, I'll have 2 ultrasounds overall. The first is with a little machine in their office, the next will be at the big imaging lab. I scheduled my first ultrasound for March 12th after work.  Its farther away than I would like, but I must take a moment to be very thankful I'm such a low-risk subject.  

I left the office with paperwork for my bloodwork (RH, german measles, antibody, blood counts).  The bloodwork office was across the street. I almost wanted DH to come in case I felt dizzy and didn't want to drive home. But, it felt silly with the office so close by.  So, I drove across the street and popped in.  

As I sait waiting for them to call my name, I looked over the B/W form. I was sorely tempted to whip out my pen and check the HcG boxes... but, I didn't. :p  The nice vampire lady called me back, and pulled together the 5 vials I'd need to fill.  The first one went fine, but my vein petered out (that stung a bit).  So, she looked at my other arm but the vein was so tiny she had to get a baby needle. That went much better, and didn't hurt much at all.  She gave me a little can of juice (I wasn't feeling that bad, but it was nice to have). Then, sent me into the bathroom for a urine sample.

Driving home via manual transmission was awkward with my elbows all taped up.  But, I made it. :)

The End... Er... The Beginning

Now, I have some reading material to go over, and about a month to kill.   Luckily CivFanatics just relased the next Beyond the Sword Game of the Month!  There is NO time-killer like Civ. :)